Who am I?

In our last blog post, we talked about how someone can become a Resolute Woman—and concluded that we don’t have any simple, easy answers .

However, we both agree that the solution begins with self-knowledge.  An essential question is: Who am I?

This information from our book—which we plan to publish next year—may be helpful.

Who am I? The answer is vastly more complicated than the role you play. Whether you have a career or not. Whether you’re married or not. Whether you have children or not. Whether you’re younger than 30 or older than 60.

Who am I? The answer is a combination of what you value, what’s important to you, what your talents are, how you spend your time. It’s who-you-are, the part of you that stays the same no matter what role you’re playing—mother, wife, friend, career woman, retired person.

Too often a woman gets trapped by the rigid roles that our culture promotes. She tries so hard to be the Cheerleader, the Corporate Wife, the Good Mother, the Wonderful Friend or the Career Woman that she never discovers who she is. She becomes so focused on one role that she forgets that she can pick and choose parts from several roles.

Each of us must work diligently to stay true to herself. It’s a battle that everyone must fight. You lose the battle if you’re wearing what everyone else is wearing, playing tennis because everyone else is playing tennis, reading the latest bestseller because everyone else is reading it, changing hobbies so that you’ll be interested in what your latest gentleman friend is interested in.

Who am I? Some people seem to know automatically. They are born to be dancers, writers, doctors or mothers. For those people, one role is central to their identity. Most of us would define ourselves as an incredible blend of many different roles—an interesting, complicated mixture. Like most women, you may have to work and to keep working to find the right blend that is the unique combination for you.

Now’s the time to ask yourself who you are today and who you want to be tomorrow. Even if you already have figured out who you are, you need to make regular assessments. You need to keep changing. Part of you may be never changing, but some parts of you need to keep evolving and growing.

In our next blog post, we’ll continue with some questions that you can ask yourself.